To My Wonderful Parents,
I wanted to take a moment to write this to thank you and celebrate you for being the most amazing parents I could have ever asked for.
I know we all remember a time where I hurt you, and wanted to be as far away from you as possible. I was a teenager, and we just could never see eye-to-eye on anything. I remember those days as though they were yesterday, although I try my very best to shun them out of my memories. The reason I remember them so vividly is because they were the hardest times of my life.
The day I moved out of the house is the day I started remembering all the good memories we had, and let me tell you something.. There were many more of them than there were of us arguing and disagreeing. There were many more years filled with laughter and happiness than there were the few years of rebellion and tears. The day I moved out, I missed you. My parents. My loves. My laughter.
But I stuck with it.
You may not have ever understood why I stuck with it, but I did and still do.
We worked better that way.
I don't know how, or why.. but we just worked better that way. With the distance between us, with our emotions under control, we worked.
We spoke.
We opened up.
We loved.
What a bizarre conclusion to come to, that my relationship with my parents was always on better terms when we were away from one another and only saw each other now and again. It was mostly my relationship with you, Mama. It blossomed, didn't it? It isn't just me who thinks that, is it? We never had a real relationship.. Not really. I don't think I ever was the princess of a daughter you thought you'd received when you gave birth to me. I never let you do my hair, I didn't like pretty dresses.. and then I grew up to be a horrible brat. You wanted me to be one thing, and I wanted to be a whole different thing. It didn't work, our relationship.. although I now believe we both did try our very best in our own ways. Our ways just never clicked, not until we were apart.
You spoke to me when I left. You asked me all those scary questions you were scared of me answering.. scared the answer you didn't want to come out of my mouth would come out and it would all be too real for you. And then they didn't.. those answers never came. In fact, I probably was quite different to who you thought I'd become. It's funny, isn't it? We lived in the same house, and we didn't have a clue who the other person was. Then, when we were in different countries to one another, we let our minds open and explore who the other person really was. I got to know you then, Mama. When I left, I got to know you.
I'm married now. It's crazy, absolutely insane.. but I am. And I wanted you both to know you are, and always will be, what is missing in my life. My void. Because I missed out on years of living with you, and now it'll never happen again. In my contentment, and joy with being in love and married to my best friend.. I will always miss you. I don't regret moving out, because it somehow fixed us. But I regret that we were ever broken, and that I missed out on those precious years with you.
Whenever I am sad, I just want to cuddle my Pops. It's bringing tears to my eyes to even think of it. The way you look at me Baba, filled with love and pride.. no-one will ever hold so much love for me. No-one will care for me the way you do, with such adoration. No-one will be able to fix my illness with just a touch of their hand on my cheeks like you can Mama. Nobody. And it's what I yearn for, and always will.
You are the greatest parts of my puzzle. You never failed me even when my foolish, young brain thought you had. You only made me better, greater and stronger. I will love you and miss you for the rest of my life.
Please know how much love and pride I have in both of you. The greatest parents alive.
The things you have both achieved gives me inspiration to want more from life and to work as hard as I can to achieve all that I want. But, above all, I want you both to be happy.
Please know, I am here whenever you need me or just want me.
I am married now, but this isn't just a whole new world for me and my husband, this is a whole new world for us and you will constantly be a part of my journey.
I know we all remember a time where I hurt you, and wanted to be as far away from you as possible. I was a teenager, and we just could never see eye-to-eye on anything. I remember those days as though they were yesterday, although I try my very best to shun them out of my memories. The reason I remember them so vividly is because they were the hardest times of my life.
The day I moved out of the house is the day I started remembering all the good memories we had, and let me tell you something.. There were many more of them than there were of us arguing and disagreeing. There were many more years filled with laughter and happiness than there were the few years of rebellion and tears. The day I moved out, I missed you. My parents. My loves. My laughter.
But I stuck with it.
You may not have ever understood why I stuck with it, but I did and still do.
We worked better that way.
I don't know how, or why.. but we just worked better that way. With the distance between us, with our emotions under control, we worked.
We spoke.
We opened up.
We loved.
What a bizarre conclusion to come to, that my relationship with my parents was always on better terms when we were away from one another and only saw each other now and again. It was mostly my relationship with you, Mama. It blossomed, didn't it? It isn't just me who thinks that, is it? We never had a real relationship.. Not really. I don't think I ever was the princess of a daughter you thought you'd received when you gave birth to me. I never let you do my hair, I didn't like pretty dresses.. and then I grew up to be a horrible brat. You wanted me to be one thing, and I wanted to be a whole different thing. It didn't work, our relationship.. although I now believe we both did try our very best in our own ways. Our ways just never clicked, not until we were apart.
You spoke to me when I left. You asked me all those scary questions you were scared of me answering.. scared the answer you didn't want to come out of my mouth would come out and it would all be too real for you. And then they didn't.. those answers never came. In fact, I probably was quite different to who you thought I'd become. It's funny, isn't it? We lived in the same house, and we didn't have a clue who the other person was. Then, when we were in different countries to one another, we let our minds open and explore who the other person really was. I got to know you then, Mama. When I left, I got to know you.
I'm married now. It's crazy, absolutely insane.. but I am. And I wanted you both to know you are, and always will be, what is missing in my life. My void. Because I missed out on years of living with you, and now it'll never happen again. In my contentment, and joy with being in love and married to my best friend.. I will always miss you. I don't regret moving out, because it somehow fixed us. But I regret that we were ever broken, and that I missed out on those precious years with you.
Whenever I am sad, I just want to cuddle my Pops. It's bringing tears to my eyes to even think of it. The way you look at me Baba, filled with love and pride.. no-one will ever hold so much love for me. No-one will care for me the way you do, with such adoration. No-one will be able to fix my illness with just a touch of their hand on my cheeks like you can Mama. Nobody. And it's what I yearn for, and always will.
You are the greatest parts of my puzzle. You never failed me even when my foolish, young brain thought you had. You only made me better, greater and stronger. I will love you and miss you for the rest of my life.
Please know how much love and pride I have in both of you. The greatest parents alive.
The things you have both achieved gives me inspiration to want more from life and to work as hard as I can to achieve all that I want. But, above all, I want you both to be happy.
Please know, I am here whenever you need me or just want me.
I am married now, but this isn't just a whole new world for me and my husband, this is a whole new world for us and you will constantly be a part of my journey.
Love from,
Sali
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